A wise person once said “keep your friends close and your fantasy football opponents closer”, or something like that. If you want to be successful you need to understand the other teams in your league just as much as you understand your own. There are some fantasy players that will show up in all of these leagues, for better or for worse. If you want to finish in the Top 2 of your league these are the players you need to know:
- The One that Drafts Players from Their Favorite NFL Team
We all know one of these fantasy players. They tend to be new to fantasy sports, eagerly drafting every player they know with no regard for positions or basic fantasy concepts. They’re the ones drafting Drew Brees in the first round because they just got his jersey for their birthday. Every now and then, though, the experienced fantasy players pick up this mentality too, they spend their offseason following training camps and reading too far into players’ tweets. They believe that because they are sitting in row 37 A in Week 5 they can safely predict that this is Mark Ingram’s breakout year, and no they don’t care that their team also signed Adrian Peterson and drafted Alvin Kamara. I always suggest completely avoiding drafting players on your favorite NFL team and players on their rival team. This helps you see a player’s really fantasy value and stops you from getting burned twice when your favorite player fumbles, throws an interception, or downright disappoints you. This player isn’t a threat to you but they may hound you to give them Brandin Cooks before they realize he got traded 3 months ago.
- The Player that Won’t Stop Offering You Trades
This one is more annoying than dangerous. They are the one that makes you turn off notifications from the ESPN app because your phone won’t stop vibrating from their ridiculous offers. They are hitting up your Facebook inbox with another ridiculous package deal. They slide into your Twitter DMs with messages like “you’re the only trade partner I need, we are perfect for each other” even though you know they are also offering trades to the jerk with the good hair that always finishes in first place. They even hit you up with those texts at 2 am that read “you up? I’m trying to trade”. The key to this player is to keep making counter offers that tilt in your favor, after a while they’ll accept a bogus offer because they just want to get you to finally agree to that trade they’ve worked so hard for. Instant validation for both parties, and your significant other can stop being concerned with that strange person that’s always blowing up your phone.
- The Player that is Way too into Fantasy Sports
This player loves fantasy sports, they are currently in the middle of 3 fantasy baseball seasons and have already drafted for 2 of their 6 fantasy football leagues. They follow every sports personality on twitter constantly hoping for a nugget of statistical relevance to cling onto. Seriously, these players will even watch Sports Science hoping that they can gain insight. You go out to get a beer with them and can’t talk about anything but fantasy sports; not even real sports. This player is so desperate for fantasy insight they are reading a blog that started two days ago by two amateur fantasy sports bloggers. These players are exactly who we are, they are the best fantasy sports players, and they are the most dangerous players in your league because they always want that “W” more than you. Also, I’m just kidding about Sports Science, nobody watches that.
- The Mimic
The mimic is the worst of the worst. This fantasy GM is the type of person who swipes up that player you wanted one or two spots ahead of where you would have picked them. This person might as well be a mind reader. Whether it’s a crystal ball or your own big mouth, you need to play things close to the vest when approaching the mimic. When talking to the mimic, come to the realization that you might as well be talking to yourself. Side note: one possible way to outsmart the mimic is to lead them down the wrong path. Tell them about a player you think will kill it this season but don’t make it too obvious that you are just blowing smoke. Make it believable that you would actually pick the garbage player and watch the mimic shoot himself in the foot. Unfortunately, most of the time the mimics do not reveal themselves. They are quiet and collected and the moment they have the chance to steal a player you want, they’ll pounce. You’ve been warned!
- The Waiver Wire Hero
Everybody who plays fantasy football should take notes on the waiver wire hero. This type of fantasy GM knows that drafting your team is only half the battle. If we’re talking sports, injury talk is sure to follow. You need to have a list of back-up options ready to go. The waiver wire hero rummages through the scraps hoping to strike gold. It may sound rare, but this actually happens very often. I was once in a league with some friends a few years back and a certain waiver wire hero picked up some random rookie receiver by the name of Odell Beckham Jr. He beat me in the championship BECAUSE OF OBJ. The waiver wire hero is the most dangerous player in the game.
- The All Too Often Underrated Female Player
Fantasy football leagues always seem to be full of dudes. There appears to be this perception that female players will be less engaged in leagues or aren’t “die-hard” enough fans to win fantasy leagues. Women love football just as much as everyone else and that means that you’d be a fool to underestimate the female player in your league. I can personally attest to this; the league I run for my Knoxville friends (Go Vols) included 3 female players and 7 males last season. All 3 female players finished in the top 6, with a female player ultimately winning it all (shoutout to B-Wright). Bottom line here, gentlemen, is it’s 2017 and if you want to win you need to take every player serious.
The player with the horrible team name: We all know that one GM who just does not know how to name a fantasy team. They go with something corny like a pokemon pun or a joke that only they would find funny. DON”T BE THIS TYPE OF PLAYER, do some research and find a good name. Also, don’t be that fantasy owner that names their team after a player who isn’t on their roster!
The Trash Talker: Nothing we can do here but beat the snot out of this player’s team. They let their mouth run and talk the talk and all you can do to shut them up is walk the walk. Most of the time this person is full of hot air and likes the Cowboys.
The quitter: Now if you are involved in a money league, this type of person is not a problem. However, if you’re playing just for fun then there will likely be at least 1 or 2 of these types of players. It’s unfortunate but if there is no reason to play, then odds are someone will lose interest because fantasy football is only for those in it for the long haul.
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